Kasia is modeling a festive jumper in Kraków. By the looks of it, things are pretty chilly in Poland: thick wool, ear muffs and a turtle neck finish are needed just to stay warm indoors. Or maybe it’s actually unseasonably BAKING HOT and Kasia is taking one for the team. If so, we thank you! And hope you don’t pass out.
Friday 13th was a rrrrather big day for the ol’ Christmas jumper. What with Save the Children’s Christmas Jumper Day and plenty of stonking hangovers from getting too drunk with Tina from finance at the Christmas party the night before, people right around the country were keen to put on a festive knit and wash away their sins. First up is a tour around the office of one leading company in London that does… corporate things? Oh we don’t know, we’re just jumper enthusiasts after all.
Fashion aficionado Eivind tries to kickstart a school-shirt-and-knit trend this winter. By the looks of things, he’s also into two colour hair combos – dark on bottom, white on top. Or are the blonde highlights actually a cat sitting on his head, just out of shot..? It would explain the smile, and the warm sensation of cat wee going down his back.
What’s cheesier in this photo? Lesley from Brighton’s winning smile or the actual cheese she has in front of her? Probably her grin but we get why she’s happy – she’s wearing a sexy open top knit that makes you want to nibble on her shoulder like it’s a wedge of nutty Jarlsberg. If you’d like to copy Lovely Lesley’s look, go to ASDA in 2006. That’s where she got it. If that’s not possible for you, take a pair of scissors to your favourite knit and don’t look back.
Scandi Knits innovator and general pooh-bah Tomek is wearing a classic Norwegian knit (is there a better kind?) while trying out the questionable pleasures of a Chinese head massaging helmet. Based on his smile, you might conclude he’s having a good time. You’d be WRONG. Unless you enjoy wearing a heavy piece of plastic that whacks your scalp around like it’s a brick in a washing machine, avoid this contraption like the plague. Don’t avoid the jumper though. It’s amazing.
Sensual Eastern European beauty Alicja wears an aggressively festive Christmas jumper in this shocking horse-and-reveal. Who would have thought that behind such a hideous equestrian mask would be a face that could unknit a million jumpers with a single look? Not us. Wherever Alicja is going on this train ride to surrealism, we hope she continues to look as Christmassy as she does. Well done.
This is Barbi. She looks terrified. She’s also a children’s book designer, has a rabbit called Dot, likes pigeons (?) and something called “Slash” (???). Oh, she also wears amazing Christmas jumpers around the office to the envy of all her children’s book designing colleagues. They’re so envious, in fact, that they’re writing a book called Finding Knit. In it, Lil’ Tommy Knit loses Papa Knit in a biiiig department store. He then has to go on an adventure to find him with the help of his new friends, Bo Tai, Joe K’Strap and Meg Ligee. Jeez, maybe we should do children’s books!?
Decades ago, our little Brodie was born. And then on his second birthday, he put on this AMAZING Danish jumper and blew out some candles on a cake that was sitting on an AMAZING plastic table cover. Just check out those jazzy geometric shapes; they scream “you can spill milk on me and I’ll be cool with it.” Clearly, Brodie’s parents had immaculate taste when it came to knits and table covers. We just hope they passed it down to Brodie.
We’re not sure where the knits begin and end in this bundle of familial woolen warmth. Does this trio have three separate jumpers on or are they all slotted into one giant multi-limbed knit? Who knows. And we’re not sure why the baby on the left is so surprised. Perhaps it’s his first “thumbs up” moment? Or maybe he’d never seen flash photography before? Or maybe it was the realisation he was going to be immortalised on a blog about fashionable festive knitwear. That’s probably it.