Scandi Knits innovator and general pooh-bah Tomek is wearing a classic Norwegian knit (is there a better kind?) while trying out the questionable pleasures of a Chinese head massaging helmet. Based on his smile, you might conclude he’s having a good time. You’d be WRONG. Unless you enjoy wearing a heavy piece of plastic that whacks your scalp around like it’s a brick in a washing machine, avoid this contraption like the plague. Don’t avoid the jumper though. It’s amazing.
Sensual Eastern European beauty Alicja wears an aggressively festive Christmas jumper in this shocking horse-and-reveal. Who would have thought that behind such a hideous equestrian mask would be a face that could unknit a million jumpers with a single look? Not us. Wherever Alicja is going on this train ride to surrealism, we hope she continues to look as Christmassy as she does. Well done.
This is Barbi. She looks terrified. She’s also a children’s book designer, has a rabbit called Dot, likes pigeons (?) and something called “Slash” (???). Oh, she also wears amazing Christmas jumpers around the office to the envy of all her children’s book designing colleagues. They’re so envious, in fact, that they’re writing a book called Finding Knit. In it, Lil’ Tommy Knit loses Papa Knit in a biiiig department store. He then has to go on an adventure to find him with the help of his new friends, Bo Tai, Joe K’Strap and Meg Ligee. Jeez, maybe we should do children’s books!?
Decades ago, our little Brodie was born. And then on his second birthday, he put on this AMAZING Danish jumper and blew out some candles on a cake that was sitting on an AMAZING plastic table cover. Just check out those jazzy geometric shapes; they scream “you can spill milk on me and I’ll be cool with it.” Clearly, Brodie’s parents had immaculate taste when it came to knits and table covers. We just hope they passed it down to Brodie.
We’re not sure where the knits begin and end in this bundle of familial woolen warmth. Does this trio have three separate jumpers on or are they all slotted into one giant multi-limbed knit? Who knows. And we’re not sure why the baby on the left is so surprised. Perhaps it’s his first “thumbs up” moment? Or maybe he’d never seen flash photography before? Or maybe it was the realisation he was going to be immortalised on a blog about fashionable festive knitwear. That’s probably it.
Swanning in front of the camera like he’s on his way to the chips ‘n’ dips bowl at a Christmas cocktail party, Nick is showing off a jazzy 80s jumper against a perfect egg white wall. Fancy taking a closer look at the knit? Let’s zoom in.
Our close-up analysis reveals a tight and thorough knit complete with squiggles, lines, arrows, crosses, colours, pinks, purples and even more squiggles. This is catalogue quality stuff that was probably wrestled off an older relative. We’re glad you won Nick, now go and enjoy those Doritos babe.
Look at little Bella, all rosy cheeked and terribly excited about Father Christmas being on his way! With a face like hers, there’s bound to be presents under the tree come Christmas Morning. Bella’s really getting into the festive swing of things with a knitted hat from Garson’s Farm Shop in a place called “Esher.” Where is this mythical land? We don’t know. But they knit one damn fine Christmas hat, we tell you.
Young Jake is modeling a kid’s Christmas jumper from George in a variety of Vogue poses that really accentuate his angles. Smizing throughout, Jake’s dramatic camera presence helps bring out the vivaciousness of his festive knit, which will surely be top of many Christmas lists come December. Remember to eat your peas kids and maybe – just maybe – there will be a Scandi Knit under the tree this year.